The World Cup rages on without the United States Men’s Team, as usual.  The fact that we can’t cut it on the field is bad enough, but when it comes to excuses for losing, we get out butts kicked in that category as well. 

Give the gold medal, championship trophy, and blue ribbon to Germany for that. Specifically, the German newspaper Bild. 

European countries take soccer and the World Cup much more seriously than we do. Not making the knockout round is a flat-out disaster in Germany, and their team fell short, and the newspaper thinks they know whose fault it was; the WAGS. The wives and girlfriends of the players. 

“What is actually wrong with our Wags,” the paper asked.

“Not thirsty? Dancing leg allergy? Don’t feel like lunging?… Be happy that you too are now flying home with your football dwarves! It can’t go on like this.”

That is funny. While the paper ripped their countrymen, it praised the significant others of the team from England, who apparently would “drink Qatar half-dry.”  

England easily won their Group B and is a threat to win it all. 

Yes, the paper gave specifics of how the WAGS let the country down. They were allowed to stay with the German players at a luxury resort in Qatar for two nights before they took on Costa Rica.  Even that didn’t help, and the paper wants to put the blame somewhere. 

Meanwhile, the British gals were pounding pints of beer and crushing shots despite the strict alcohol policy in Qatar.  

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