Not only is San Francisco’s office district a ghost town, but it’s also covered in sh*t, according to a new report from the city Controller’s Office.
Animal and human feces were discovered more commonly in commercial sectors, covering “approximately 50 percent of street segments in key commercial areas and 30 percent in the citywide survey.”
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To combat the sh*t storm, the “City by the Bay” has been forced to employ and deploy a six-figure ‘poo patrol’ team for cleanup. The feces at hand involves poop-filled bags that have not been disposed of properly in trash bins. Feces that have been smeared along sidewalks, streets, or other fixtures on the assessment path were also included. Poop-related stains that have been cleaned up are not considered, nor are bird droppings.
Surprisingly, Nob Hill wins the award for top poop spot, followed by the inevitably sh*t-infested Tenderloin, with The Mission district taking third place.
“It’s terrible; this street is covered,” Tenderloin local Joe Souza told The San Francisco Standard in a recent interview. “There’s poop everywhere. You always see it along the wall and in front of the garage there.”
Graffiti is another issue for the city with every neighborhood highly tagged up, with the exception of Visitacion Valley, located in the southeastern quadrant of San Francisco and colloquially referred to as “Viz Valley.” A total of 71 percent of commercial areas reported moderate to severe levels of graffiti.
“In terms of actual counts of graffiti observed, there were about 10 times (160,000 vs. 16,000 respectively) as many instances of graffiti reported in the Key Commercial Areas survey in comparison to the Citywide sample,” the report said.
While graffiti and general street litter are plaguing the city, the most significant sore spot is the poop. Dave Chappelle, who considers San Francisco his second home, held a surprise show last month at the SF Masonic Auditorium as he bemoaned the fact that someone dropped trou and defecated in his presence while he entered an Indian restaurant for dinner.
San Francisco’s poop-ageddon comes amidst an overwhelming commercial workplace vacancy rate resulting from pandemic-era work-from-home policies, as well as corporations and residents relocating away from the city’s dangerous and poo-covered streets.
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